Virtual Friendships
written by Anne Manera copyright 2011
Friendship is becoming a thing of the past, true friendship that is. The news is full of people whom you thought were “friends” and are now not speaking to each other,verbally that is. In the 21st Century, the emergence of technology has created new types of friends and friendships that exist in the virtual world.Four types of friends exist in the virtual world, message board friend, email friend, instant message friend and blog friend. Have we as a society, reached a point where we are unable to maintain “real world friendships”? What’s worse are when the so called real life friendships reach a rocky point in the friendship we then become a virtual friend. Avoiding real voices. Avoiding physical contact. It’s safe in the virtual world. Don’t feel like picking up the phone and spending some real, quality time on the phone with another person, just send them a quick email and go on with life in your isolated world.Fear of commitment in the 21st Century has enabled the virtual world to be an inviting venue for many individuals seeking friendship in some form. Virtual friendships do not require a commitment, as one is able to drop out of the friendship at any time, without explanation. Why should one be loyal to someone they have never actually met in person? How strong of a bond is shared with someone with whom one never laughed and cried until the laughter turned to tears and the tears turned to laughter? Text messaging has become the 2007 way of dinner conversation. Some say it is a result of a busy world full of multi taskers. I contend that it is an excuse not to face one’s fears. To live in an uncommitted society where one’s main objective is to satisfy and stroke one’s own ego. Intimate details are often shared in the virtual world; one can personify anyone they choose, creating a virtual identity only known in the virtual world. Unfortunately, one has no way of knowing the true identity of an individual in the virtual world, making it difficult to form trusting relationships. A large majority of individuals engaged in virtual friendships are aware that the identity of their online friend may be that of something else. The virtual world of friendships has created a non-virtual world of assumed identities. Individuals are living a secret life of sorts as they sit in front of the computer screen. Does the meaning of trust change when one knows at the onset of a friendship that one is not as he or she appears? Is this trust issue spilling into the non-virtual world, creating a society of individuals who are headed for a friendless life? True friendships were first formed on the basis of goodwill as it foundation, but does goodwill truly exist in the virtual world? On message boards individuals freely post their opinions, rants and raves. It seems goodwill has disappeared in such a forum, as it is commonplace for harsh words to be exchanged as the virtual world invites one to speak one’s mind and hold nothing back. Credibility does not exist in the virtual world as it becomes difficult to discern between truths and lies. In the non-virtual world one would hesitate before exchanging harsh words with another, as consequences would arise, but in the virtual world consequences simply do not exist. What is happening to society as goodwill is slowly disappearing? In the virtual world, one can become disembodied from oneself, creating an experience unlike no other in history. 21st Century technology has enabled the virtual friendships to replace non-virtual friendships. Man is inundated with information in the virtual world, as the infinite amount of information is made available to anyone with an Internet connection. The need for friendship exists for everyone, but are virtual friendships truly filling the friendship need? The virtual world is a world of freedom, with no limitation. On a global level, not all nations believe in free speech, so the Internet becomes a forum in which one is able to speak freely. The world of virtual friendship has become a world of its own, complete with its own dialect. Virtual friends have created a way of communicating which is exclusive to the virtual world. One who does not understand the virtual dialect will soon feel they do not belong, an outsider in the virtual neighborhood. If true friendship is non-existent in the virtual world, does self-love exist? Some would argue that virtual friendships are the best types of friendship in which to take part. What could be better than a friendship which meets all one’s needs, is available around the clock and is available to anyone with a simple Internet connection? I find it hard to accept a society whose members communicate in the virtual world without ever communicating in the non-virtual world. I guess I am old-fashioned in my beliefs as I still take value in the gift of friendship in the non-virtual world. Virtual friendships are helping to create a society of individuals who no longer know how to communicate in person. When placed in front of a computer screen, younger generations in particular, cannot stop talking, or shall I say typing. But, when these same individuals are placed in a group setting, such as a classroom, social event or standing in their driveway amongst neighbors, suddenly these individuals have very little to say. There is silence as one becomes uncomfortable in one’s own skin without the security blanket of the computer screen. The computer enables these silent individuals to speak up, but what is missing in the onscreen text is the influx and tone of one’s voice, which can only be experienced in the non-virtual world. Words on the screen can be easily misinterpreted with the absence of the sound of one’s voice.
As society ages, the generations of individuals who have experienced friendship long before virtual friendship began will soon be obsolete. Will non-virtual friendships still exist, or will society become a society which exist solely in the virtual world.? If so, I am thankful to have been able to experience non-virtual true friendship. Long live the proverbial cup of borrowed sugar!